“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, 2017
Whether you’ve experienced it before or not, enjoying closeness is possible and protective. To figure life out alone is too much to expect. Trapped in our own mind, our beliefs become disconnected and we begin to make little sense. While many of us struggle with relationships, we want to make our relationships work, to make them healthier so that we are healthier, physically and emotionally.
With a safe, interactive approach I work with individuals and couples to find and strengthen security within themselves and within their relationships. We uncover what has been and what is possible. By learning to know and help each other, the couples I work with find that even if they experience communication congestion and disagreement, they can learn tools to move forward and find resolution.
As an individual therapist, I support you to discover different aspects of yourself, uncovering internal cues, directions, and answers. Maybe you’re not sure exactly who you are or want to be; we can reveal the puzzle beneath your surface. Or perhaps you know yourself but are afraid to find and attain the things and people you want in your life; we can grow your courage and attract your preferences and wishes.
As a couple therapist, I draw from the PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) method. I strive to make space for both of you in the relationship. The space between two people can be rich with love and safety. To work as a team, we must oil the gears of give and take with flexibility and flow; it’s an art that takes daily practice. Somewhat like a dance, the art of relationship can always benefit from ongoing revision and grace. Repair is a perfectly valid plan B, as we often need and can offer each other a second chance to make it right.
Often, it’s about learning to communicate verbally. One word, a sentence, or even a gesture can make a difference between anger and calm. A gentle touch or smile can repair the outburst. We slowly learn to trust who the other is, willingly to work with, and relax into them.
With developed awareness and practice, you can reset your relationship. Each of you can become more secure, more productive, and more peaceful. You can learn how to make your partner your best confidante and ally.